Stupendous Man and the Avengers
by Fairyfinder
Summary: What if Calvin's wishes came true? What if Stupendous Man really was real? Wouldn't the Avengers find out about it? Of course there would always be the problem of the Black Widow being a girl... Oneshot for all those Calvin and Hobbes lovers! ;) I don't own Calvin and Hobbes or Avengers.


**A/N: I just thought this would be fun so here comes the one shot. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own neither Calvin and Hobbes nor Avengers.**

The Avengers team was gathered in the SHIELD helicarrier, discussing a matter of the upmost importance.

"I'm sure you've all heard the reports of terror over the years coming from a certain suburban family. The Derkins family has been sending us reports of a neighborhood nuisance since last year. It would seem that the offender recently got more dangerous than anyone could imagine." Nick Fury explained to the team.

"How much more dangerous?" Bruce Banner aka the Hulk asked not worried at all.

"He has somehow acquired supernatural abilities." Fury stated dryly.

"Such as?" Ironman aka Tony Stark asked.

"Flight and super-strength." Fury declared grimly, looking at the file.

"Any clues as to how he got these powers?" Captain America aka Steve Rogers asked, rubbing his shield thoughtfully.

"We have an eyewitness that says he had these abilities soon after getting a sort of super-suit." Fury flipped through the files some more, "Crimson colored mask and cape."

Ironman perked up. "What kind of technology does he use? Maybe I could hack into the system and…"

"We don't know if it's even tech that he uses. We're wondering if he is from a different planet." Fury cocked an eyebrow. "According to this he is only six years old."

"What can we do for this child?" Thor boomed.

"SHIELD wants the Avengers to apprehend the boy and bring him in. If there is any way we can get him on our side make it happen. Is that understood?"

All of the Avengers nodded.

"Alright Avengers, assemble." Ironman called.

Banner raised a finger. "We're already assembled. Shouldn't you all go get him?"

"We want you going with, Banner. This boy has proven to be nearly as strong as the Hulk." Fury ordered.

The Avengers got into a jet and flew to the area in North America where they would find the target. When they got to the neighborhood the first house they went to was the Derkins'.

"It's awful! One minute I was coloring on the sidewalk, the next I was in a tree! He hates all girls!" Susie told the superheroes that came to her door.

"Thank you, uh, Miss Derkin. We'll take him away." Ironman promised the little girl. "Could you tell us where he lives?"

Susie pointed at the house next door. "Beware of the tiger! He'll throw him at you!"

The Avengers walked to the next house hesitantly. Cpt. America knocked on the door. A bedraggled woman opened the door.

"Is it Halloween already?" She asked wearily.

"Uh, noooo…" Ironman started, unknowing how to ask this woman about the horror in her house.

"Ma'am, could you tell us about your son?" Cpt. America asked politely.

"What do you want to know?" The woman opened the door wider and led them into her living room.

"We were wondering if he's at home..." Natasha aka the Black Widow started. She was cut off by a thump from the second floor.

"Oh, he's at home." The woman got up and marched angrily up the stairs.

The Avengers looked at each other and followed her to a bedroom. All over the floor comic books and dinosaur toys were sprinkled about. On the bed sat a stuffed tiger and at the desk lay unfinished homework. It was not as menacing as they thought it would be.

"YOU COME OUT OF THERE RIGHT NOW!" The woman bellowed at the closet.

"No way, evil Mom-Lady!" A small voice called, "You shall not trick me into coming out and being hypnotized!"

"You have some visitors." The woman sighed, leaning on the wall in defeat.

"It better not be Roslyn! I might have to use my super-strength on her!" The child warned, opening the door a crack. The Avengers spotted two eyes peering out at them in shock.

"Hi there buddy." Natasha smiled at him, "We'd like to talk to you."

"Why? Were you sent here by the evil Susie?" The little boy spat.

"No, I'm Natasha and this is Thor, Tony, Bruce, Steve, and Clint." She said, pointing to each of the other Avengers.

"You're a girl."

"Yes I am, but…"

"HOBBES! You're in the same area as the enemy! This is treason to G.R.O.S.S.!" A small boy in a crimson cape and mask ran out of his hiding spot and grabbed the stuffed tiger. He gave Natasha a dirty look. "I don't know what you did to those poor guys, but you'll never get me! Hear me queen of Zoks?!"

"Uh kid, you better sit down." Natasha growled.

"You'll never get me!" The boy yelled, flying out the window.

"Thor, go!" Natasha yelled.

Thor twirled his hammer and flew out after the boy, Ironman was in close pursuit.

After flying around the house three times the boy dashed into the woods. The Avengers ran or flew after him. The boy flew through the woods skillfully and seemed to know every tree and brook. The Avengers could not catch up.

Soon the boy flew into a tree house and glared down at them. "Stay back, Zoks, there is a man eating tiger up here and I can bore holes in you with my laser eyes!"

"Come down kid! We won't hurt you, promise!" Banner yelled.

"Like you could harm one such as I!" The little boy laughed.

Cpt. America threw his shield at the beam supporting the tree house and it collapsed. The boy didn't have time to fly away and was caught by Thor.

"What's your name, son?" Cpt. America asked.

"I'm sworn to secrecy!" The boy hissed.

"Tell us your name boy." Thor thundered.

"You'll never get the information from me! I'm not traitor!"

"What do we have to do to earn your trust?" Natasha asked.

The boy tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Got any cookies or candy?"

"No." Natasha admitted.

"I'll take a million bucks."

Everyone turned to Ironman.

"No way!" Tony put his hands up defensively.

"The only way to earn my trust is to join G.R.O.S.S."

"What's that?" All of them asked.

"**G**et **R**id **O**f **S**limy girl**S**, that means Natasha can't join." He turned to the stuffed tiger. "You traitor! How dare you call the enemy a babe?!"

After five minutes of the boy arguing with his stuffed tiger he finally told the Avengers how to join his club. All of them joined except the Black Widow.

"Now will you tell us your name?"

"I'm Calvin. How about you guys?"

They introduced themselves using their superhero names.

"Why did you guys come here?"

"We'd like you to be part of the Avengers." Banner told him.

"I'll have to check my schedule." He turned to the tiger and consulted with him. "I'm free. Let's go."

"We'll talk to your mom…" Ironman started.

"No need. She doesn't care. I moved to Yukon once and she didn't even miss me."

The Avengers talked to his mother anyway and she was more than happy to let them take him. So they took Calvin back to the helicarrier.

"Welcome, Calvin." Fury smiled.

Calvin stared at the man's eye patch. "How did that happen?!"

"Dinosaur." Fury smirked.

Calvin gasped.

They showed the little boy around until an alarm went off. Sirens blared and lights flashed. Calvin joined in the noise by making his own siren sounds.

"To the bridge!" Fury called, leading the way.

"Sir! New York is under attack!" An agent informed them.

"Who is it?" Fury snapped.

"Loki and some teenage girl, sir."

"Do we have an ID?"

"No, but here is her picture."

The photograph showed a young woman with blonde hair.

"Roslyn!" Calvin shrieked. "Aka, the evil Babysitter Girl!"

"His babysitter is attacking New York?" Ironman asked.

"Doesn't matter who, we've got to take her down. You gotta name kid?" Fury asked, strapping on a bullet-proof vest.

"Cal – Stupendous Man." Calvin smiled, "Friend of Freedom, Opponent of Oppression, and Lover of Liberty!"

"Welcome to the Avengers." Captain America barked and then smiled, "Stupendous Man."

**A/N: A little long, but hey! It came to me on a whim. I hope you liked this story and laughed at least a little. I know my sense of humor needs work… Thanks for reading! :D See ya later, Zok!**


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